Thursday, November 6, 2014

Confession of a Control Freak with a Savior Complex: Thankful Posts

Do you wish people would do what you ask when you ask? Does it get under your skin when someone you love doesn't seem to want to be healed of their brokenness? Do you love correction, no matter the pain of internal change?

I do.

This past week, I struggled to grasp why someone I love would refuse to do what everyone around him has asked. For his safety. For his health. For his endurance.

When my husband lovingly pointed out that I cannot make someone else do what they don't want to, reminded me that I want to control things I can't, and told me to let go of the situation before it hurt me (I had to take Pepto Bismol at one point), I went to God.

And here's what I discovered...

I hate to see brokenness or chaos, especially in those I love. I want to fix things. I want to make them better. I don't enjoy watching them suffer ... in their sickness, in their sin, in their self-destruction. I can't stand a messy room. If I had the time, I'd clean and organize everyone's house.

I'm not unlike the God whose image and likeness I am created in. He can't stand to see humanity self-destruct either. He can't ignore mankind's brokenness. And He detests sin. So much that He sent His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him may have eternal life. Because He loves us more. He didn't send Jesus to condemn us. He sent Him to save us.

And yet we make our own choices. We have the freedom of will. We can decide to accept His love and redemption or to reject it.

And for someone whose love language is acts of service, saying "no" to their simple request (and possibly complicated ones) is perceived as rejection. Just like Jesus was rejected and hung on a cross. Just like many continue to reject Him today.

I take comfort in knowing that God knows exactly how I feel in this messy moment of life. That He understands the pain of rejection. That He created me like Him in this way, even if I'm a control freak with a Savior complex.

At least I know the only One who can save. And how to let go and let Him work it out.

Or not, depending on someone else's decisions. Which I am not responsible for.

So today I find myself thankful for my Savior, who doesn't condemn me for being a control freak with a Savior complex. Instead, He understands. And He loves. And He corrects. And He forgives.

PS ~ I don't profess to be perfect. No, I'm far from it. But I am willing to accept correction when it is due and strive to better myself, since I'm the only one I have the power to change. Please don't think I'm implying I'm better than anyone else. I know I'm not.

What quirk do you own that reflects God's heart for mankind? Are you thankful for it?

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